There’s a kind of pain that goes beyond words or rational thought. It’s not always going to be as easy as leaving a conversation, or a room, or even a relationship. Distance won’t be enough. Someone in your life will hurt you so deeply that it makes you recede to that primitive part of yourself that only knows survival. All you can do is react. You become this twitching, snarling animal that gnashes its teeth at every hand, whether it’s outstretched in anger or in love. Trust is the thorn in your paw that gives you a limp. Some days you’ll find a coat of fur more durable than your thin, vulnerable skin. You’ll find a pair of claws more useful than those neat-trimmed nails for dissecting what’s left of your mangled heart. Nobody will know what to do with your pain; they won’t understand that your guarded eyes, your bristling spine, and your tangled hair are all measures of protection. Listen, that’s okay. They don’t have to get it. There’s nothing wrong with embracing your wilderness if it serves you to be rough. Don’t tame yourself for the sake of being pretty; you don’t have to be soft or civilized for anyone. Please don’t ever feel guilty or ashamed of what you have to do to survive. If you want to be rough, be rough. If you want to bark, then bark. Bare your fangs, be feral. You’ve always had this trapped howl inside you; here is the pain that forces you to release it. You sweet, vicious thing. Snap every finger on the hand that breaks your heart, and don’t stop for a second to feel sorry about it.
― "Teeth" Anita Ofokansi (via deeplystained)

You love me. I love him. He loves her.

I feel like such a shitty person.